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Ghost Dog Songs

by Ani Ces

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1.
there are so many bodies i have had to dig up. i've found that each one that i buried traces back to your touch, so don't blame me for taking out the quickest route. if it's any consolation, i am just as lost as you. because each time they cry, it's not their eyes but yours i meet. no wonder i'm running into walls, my gaze directed at my feet. + all those cemetery serenades seem to reverberate. i've been humming along + dancing with them all as of late. i want to harvest all of my veins + spin a yarn, crochet a coat to shield you from the cold's lonely arms. it's not like i'm not in your blood already + in your mind. i know because the wind, it taunts me, says, "made you look behind!" + i'm told i've got a gift with the grotesque, paint it in such a way that it's almost romantic. is this what he meant? we were jet engines, we were power lines, at each other's throats for most of our lives. so now, if not in flashbacks, of all i could ask you: oh love, now, when i stumble, tell me--do you fall, too?
2.
got the same voice under the needle again. i like to board up my eyes + pretend we meet up, seeking refuge in the day's end, because i miss the way you'd read the etchings in my head + play the muse by holding up a mirror. you know, i'm told there was a subtext that i missed there. we shared a laugh over a shared, missed nostalgia. but were they wrong, or was I wrong? do you swear? + i get nervous when the sun sets sooner + i don't want to talk to no one but you. yeah, the days get shorter, but time still feels too long, so won't you have me? i'll let you prove me wrong. maybe i just prefer the sets to rise because i don't like reminders of the wasted nights + i can't sleep or conjure images inside. so love, now, won't you tell me where you hide? i'm so close to painting poppies on my wrist. i'm not saying that for you, i just want to know if the words fit. you used to say to me the world's not ending, though it already had. what do we do now that we missed it? + i get nervous when the sun sets sooner + i don't want to talk to no one but you. yeah, the days get shorter, but time still feels too long, so won't you have me? i'll let you prove me wrong again.

about

i saw a dog chilling under a cemetery sign + it stuck with me.

credits

released October 31, 2020

written + recorded in early fall 2020 by vic garces while she was off her meds.

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all rights reserved

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about

Ani Ces San Antonio, Texas

Queer, Chicanx south central Texas singer-songwriter Vic Garces combines a passion for poetry, melancholy, and rock music alone, in a closet, with an acoustic guitar that doesn't entirely belong to them. You might know them from Other Plans.Or from the paintings. ... more

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