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Old Habits

from Homesick by Ani Ces

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lyrics

I know who you are, won't pretend anymore.
Crazy, scared, or stupid--that's on you.
Still I'll sing all of your favorite Foo Fighters songs
+ pray I get through to you.
Oh, is it a lie to stay alive in love with you?

I've lost my edge. No, I can't do this.
I've lost the need to compete with you
so you can, but I won't hide or deny these words that I've kept inside.
Oh, is it a lie to stay alive in love with you?

And if to love is to die, then won't you bury me tonight?
Or shoot me straight into the sky. For once, let's just not ask why
+ feel this real forever like mercy's got us paralyzed.
I love you + I don't know why I never made this right.
Because I could lie, but why waste our time + give too much power to the mind?
You're too fucking smart to not know, darling, I believe you're mine.
And if to love is to die...

And every single time that I open up my eyes,
I only do it for seconds at a time.
And if to love is to die,
then won't you bury me tonight?
Because I wouldn't lie, I'm so alive in love with you.
So is it a lie?

I'll try not to fall back into old habits
+ I'll try to do you right. You know, you can have it all
for what it's worth. You know, it couldn't make it worse.

Come here, let's quarrel just for a bit.
Sauceda said that's just what prisoners did,
because we never cared. We'd take whatever we could get.
And fuck everyone else I wanted to choose.
I'd rather stay up just thinking about you,
so come steal the sleep right away from me, why don't you?
Oh, is it a lie to stay alive in love with you?

credits

from Homesick, released December 21, 2019

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Ani Ces San Antonio, Texas

Queer, Chicanx south central Texas singer-songwriter Vic Garces combines a passion for poetry, melancholy, and rock music alone, in a closet, with an acoustic guitar that doesn't entirely belong to them. You might know them from Other Plans.Or from the paintings. ... more

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