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Til I Die

from Homesick by Ani Ces

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lyrics

Call me back, make me mad, draw my bath, + think of me last.
Your brown eyes, like unclaimed skies, keep me right until I die.

And I hate pretending to be a friend.
I hate that all of my heroes are already dead,
+ I hate that I still love the smell of cigarettes.
And I hate that I can't get you out of my head.

Unsung truths are me + you. Swing, sweet noose, please don't make me choose.
So sing to me quietly, but forget me. You're killing me.

And I love the quiet + losing my senses.
And I love to climb + straddle all your fences.
I love that I love +, oh, I love you the best. Yes,
I'm sorry that I can't seem to shut up about it.

The question you asked me was rather poetic, so don't you think it's time that we said it?

I don't mind waiting here all night,
because I don't want to drown in all of your streetlights.
I don't care if I ruin my life here, because it's still mine.
I just don't want to hear your name and sigh.

And I say that I know what I'm doing.
And I say--no, I lie--that I always tell the truth.
And I say that I don't care what I am to you.
Still, I say something different when I'm singing to you.

credits

from Homesick, released December 21, 2019

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Ani Ces San Antonio, Texas

Queer, Chicanx south central Texas singer-songwriter Vic Garces combines a passion for poetry, melancholy, and rock music alone, in a closet, with an acoustic guitar that doesn't entirely belong to them. You might know them from Other Plans.Or from the paintings. ... more

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